I just don't know

I am very sick of being dependant on others, I am an independent person, when I lived in armidale I had my set up so anything I couldn't haul home I could have delivered, anything I needed I could walk to, I grew 90% of my vegetable, no minor thing when you have 4+ veggies with every meal & I had friends I walked to, not many but enough.
Now if I want to do more than basic overpriced shops at coles I need a lift.

I had booked with the same friend who is the reason I'm not driving on my own that today I would do 3 things at centrelink, buy pet food &get some of Trystan's school uniform which I can't get here as there are no clothing shops in this town  as well as catch up with my friend as currently all my adult interactions are through facebook or the phone.
This  didn't happen, I'm not blaming the friend as the car going kaput is out of his control, I am blaming him for the screaming abuse, the accusations of emotional blackmail because I  pointed out that some of these tasks are time sensitive & for calling 8 times in an hour to scream at me, hang up & not pick up if I tried to call as well as sending 2 text messages 2 emails & send last weeks former friend to send me 3 more abusive messages about what a crazy bitch I am.

I am stuck, I can't get out of town without help & I can't drive without help  & I can't get either, I can't pay for lessons because my centrelink has been reduced because I can't study this semester because I can't get to the tafe & because I'm still paying $500 worth of a former house mates bills which were unfortunately in my name.

Oh 7 it's rained constantly for 2 weeks & due to do so for another 3, my house isn't sealed so it's damps & crap, my bathroom leaks along 2 walls so it's damp & musty, my chimney caved in  & is soaking my kitchen, the light in my kitchen broke, not the bulb but the actual wires so if I want to stand on the bench & risk electrocution I can have light in my kitchen, my child & I are stir crazy & every room in the house is dark & cluttered & horrible & it would seem that every-time I turn around a friend is betraying me or a service isn't working or my costs have just increased while my ways of making money have decreased, I should have made about 5 phone calls today to arrange payment but didn't because I was going to go out & do jobs & be around adults for an hour.

Overall I am seriously fucked, I can't grow food at this house, I don't want to be in this house, I don't want to be in this area except for the warmth, I'm far away from friends & unable to get to anything or anyone I need.

I'm not happy about life & I think i may just drink the 4 beers left over from my last two 6 packs that people keep bringing me knowing full well one will last 3 drunkenings